After years of threatening, I am finally ready to enter the blogging community. This year’s extraordinary happenings have given me the impetus to begin. We are going through major life changes right now which involve liquidation and relocation and it is all quite exciting but at the same time incredibly stressful. Celebrating our M/s dynamic in print will, I hope, keep me grounded, balanced and somewhat sane through it all which I believe will be no small feat.
Why blog about our dynamic I asked myself? Answer comes back – I believe we have an interesting history and perhaps something to contribute to the journey of others. We learned about D/s through trial and error and at this point we are blissfully happy in the place we have landed. Writing and talking about it with others in our community only helped me grow in our dynamic in the past, but I have always been a reader rather than a contributor. I recall vividly how challenging it was to begin and nurture a D/s relationship. Through many years of perseverance, we have landed where we are today. I hope our stories can help others in our lifestyle achieve the same.
So many labels to choose from….
I remember when we timidly attempted to enter the world of D/s there wasn’t much out there for guidelines. My naturally dominant and controlling husband had no interest in the kink world that I had had a taste of a few years before we met. Subsequently, the first many years of our marriage was he dominating and me sublimating. It was anything but fun.
I believe I was 48 at the time of my ‘coming out’ to him. After years of vanilla sex and hidden fantasies everything rose to the surface and I could not deny my desires another minute. Just verbalizing it to him was the most unsettling experience of my life because our communication skills were at level zero. I don’t think he really understood what I was wanting but, as luck and love would have it, he was willing to explore this new avenue for which I am eternally grateful. He told me once that if he knew what our sex life would be at this point, he would have taken better care of himself in his youth so he could be here to enjoy it.
Having a ‘label’ seemed important at the time. I had found some online groups which were heavily-populated with ‘spankos’ and ‘domestic discipline’ couples from many walks of life. (I didn’t mention that this all happened over twenty years ago before bdsm went mainstream with the ‘fifty shades’ films.) I figured out early on what my needs were, and they fit perfectly in the lap of a DD/lg dynamic (although at the time I don’t recall ever hearing this term). As luck would have it, the DD role fit my Sir like a glove with his natural need to control and to be obeyed.
We have evolved along these lines to arrive where we are today identifying as M/s. Master is a role Norseman has become quite comfortable with. I love it because the title is strong, dominant and confident. I identify with the slave role, but we like the word ‘supplicant’ and of course ‘submissive’ as well. Whatever the term, the service and mindset are the same. He is my Master and I serve and supplicate myself to Him in a perfect loop.
Living it 24/7
I have not met many who live the lifestyle we do and are totally submerged and I have been told it is impossible to do. I disagree though. For us it has been a goal for our dynamic to stay totally submerged in M/s and never come out. It is like a quest in a Virtual Reality game. Real life constantly gets in the way of living our dream and this is true for every alternative lifestyler I know. We have families, vanilla friends and associates that we keep on the peripheral of our lives, but our home is a hermitage, and we rarely leave our own space anymore. We are in the process of cashing in our business of 30 years and selling our large property. It means less distraction from the outside world and more hours of total submersion.
Being totally submerged keeps my mind ‘in it’ and this is important for me. Norseman has a tough time getting me back to where I should be when I get out into the ‘real world’ sometimes. It’s an accepted fact that in life whomever we are associating with at a particular time will affect us profoundly without us even realizing it. This is especially true for me and my submission. I can lose it in a heartbeat when I am around my vanilla friends. It’s uncomfortable and upsets the ‘apple cart’ which we have so neatly stacked so to speak.
I am looking forward to this journey into blogland. After years of writing a submissive journal for myself and my Master, it will be an exciting trip to be out there with like minded folk. I’ve got the blog, I’ve got the words, now just need to set aside some time to involve myself!
xo elskling